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Happy Meals and NFL Free Agency
Last year's offseason was incredible. First, Tom Brady retired and then unretired.
I was going to take my daughter to get her first happy meal. As a new father, I last ordered a happy meal in the mid-90s. My stale fries are still somewhere in my mom's old minivan. I asked the lady in the drive-thru what the happy meal toys were, and she said they were Disney. I thought, "perfect," my daughter loves Minnie Mouse. We get to the second window, and the lady hands me the happy meal box. I scouted out the box first to snag a couple of fries, and to my surprise, there was no toy. I told the lady they had forgotten the toy. There must have been a mistake. The lady said, "no, it's in there. It is a sticker sheet." A sticker sheet? You have got to be kidding me. What happened to the beanie babies, Inspector Gadeget, golden Pokemon cards, and Hotwheels? Stickers? What is this overpriced junk? So I did the only thing I could do. I looked at the lady, replied, "Thank you," and drove off. My daughter loved the stickers, but this was not the happy meal I remembered. #notmyhappymeal
Last year's offseason was incredible. First, Tom Brady retired and then unretired. Then, Russell Wilson made cringy hype videos, Davante Adams joined his college teammate Derek Carr, and Tyreek Hill became a Dolphin.
This whole off-season started like a happy meal. We were all anxious and excited. The NFL sells hope better than any other sports league, and the hope begins in the offseason. This NFL offseason seems like a happy meal, just a bunch of cardboard and fillers. We wanted Aaron Rodgers to come out of the darkness retreat as a Raider. But instead, we got Jimmy Garoppolo to Vegas and David Montgomery to Detroit. It's stuff, but no excitement. At this point, we all hope Lamar Jackson and Aaron Rodgers are throwing a pig skin this fall. Our fantasy leagues need all the top-tier QB help they can get. I'm sure Mcdonald's will fix their Happy Meals, just like I am sure the Jets will eventually get Rodgers. My biggest question is, who finds a new team first? Lamar or Aaron?
Until then, the Dudes and I will have you covered every step of the way this offseason. Check out my whole happy meal rant here.
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